The BEST Party (WIAW)

Hey ya’ll! Welcome to the best day of the week, WIAW. Hosted by the one of the sweetest hosts Jenn. Today is super special for some reason. It must be the WIAW magic going on, but I have been so happy. For one, I created a tumblr. Hahaha. Yes, I’m a dork, but I really like just having a thing of pictures. Check it out or follow me, Functional Foodie. In other news, I got on the Dean’s list at school for making a 4.0. Success. Also, I’m going to be assisting my functional foods professor in research with tomatoes and broccoli on prostate cancer. Even better is that she said I could focus on the inflammation part of the research since I have arthritis and that is what I’m interested in studying in. MORE news is that I am going to apply for a research grant to start up my own research about arthritis. Oh yessssssss. Oh and I am going to apply for some scholarships and hopefully I get them. Did I mention that I won 200$ to Lulu Lemon. God I’m fantastic. Enough about me, let us get back to the real reason you came to my blog, the food.

Mmmmm. A veggie omelet for breakfast. I have been loving the switch to eating vegetarian. It actually isn’t hard, so I don’t know why more people don’t do it. The benefits outweigh the juiciness of meat. This omelet has the best melty cheese in it. I was impressed with my omelet making skills at 6:30 am. Way to go Lindsay! The omelet had green peppers, onions, mushrooms, and low fat mexican cheese. Soooo goood. Definitely the best thing to eat before going to the gym and then heading to my Food Systems and Management class.

This was the best sandwich combination EVER. First layer was PB2 peanut butter. Then on top of that was a few slices of banana. Next were a couple of sliced strawberries. To finish it off there was an organic raspberry jam. Perfection. Not only is it tasty, but it was also really filling. I’m going to have to eat this now ALL THE TIME. Must invest in some more jam because that was the last of it. I’m going to bust out this sandwich in all kind of flavors. I wonder what will be the best combo?

For dinner, it was tofu. What could I just throw together really quickly? Hmm stir fry? Yes with spicy peanut sauce? OH YES. First I chopped up all my tofu into small cubes. Yeah it made a lot of tofu. Barely fit into the pan. I sprayed the pan with some cooking spray and cooked the tofu until it was brown on all sides. I like my tofu sort of crispy.

I then threw in some broccoli and chopped onions to the mix. Cooked those for a few minutes in the pan and then added the special sauce. My sauced contained PB2, soy sauce, spicy asian sauce, ketchup, and a small amount of brown sugar. It was epic. I cooked it for a couple of more minutes and I was ready to eat. I was hoping that it wasn’t too spicy because sometimes I have problems with the asian sauce and overloading too much in the pan.

Luckily it wasn’t too spicy. Sorry for the dark picture. I was in my room watching 30 rock and realized I needed to take a picture of my plate. It was really delicious though. I definitely am going to have to actually put some real effort into perfecting this recipe, so I can share it with ya’ll. Luckily I just bought two more packages of tofu!

Dessert! Seriously the best time of the day. Why are these vitatops soooo freaking expensive because they are so delicious. I want to try more flavors, but it is impossible to find more than just the chocolate one where I am. I’m probably going to go on the hunt for some this weekend. Oh yeah. I live a real exciting life. Anyways, I had the chocolate one and topped it with sliced strawberries and whipcream. I really know how to treat myself. Oh I’m fancy huh. So good.

Anyways, I’m going to go back to celebrating my awesomeness and watch more episodes of 30 Rock!

Anything good happen to you lately?
Do you watch 30 rock?

Going down the veggie path (WIAW)

Hey ya’ll! I have finally decided to come back from my period of rest and dealing with complicated things to bring you a wonderful What I Ate Wednesday post. After reading a variety of books like the China Study, I have decided that I’m going to eat vegetarian for 4 days of the week out of 7. Another reason is because my future roommate is a vegan and I can’t wait to enjoy some amazing meals with her. Eventually I may go full veggie, but lets be honest with ourselves I really do love me some good pieces of meat. Mainly healthier cuts of meat like lean turkey, chicken (not so much anymore after watching Food Inc a million times, but still like it), and I love fish. Maybe I’ll go the pescatarian route. We shall see, but in the mean time I want to give a big thanks to Jenn from Peas and Crayons for hosting this awesome day. Seriously it brought me out of my sad funk.

Get this party stared on a Thursday morning….yes I rewrite songs.

I have no idea what my images are being stupid right now, but for some reason my breakfast wants to be sideways. For my first day as a vegetarian, I had cinnamon burst cheerios, banana slices, blueberries, and almond milk. I actually was going to have oatmeal, but I woke up so late that I did not have time to prepare it to my high standards. I was going to be late to class, so I opened my cupboard and was like oh thank god I bought some cereal the other day. Good buy for once at the grocery store (unlike the bag of chocolate chips and marshmallows that I decided I needed).

Okay, so I guess all my photos will be crooked. Oh well. That is me. For lunch I decided that I wanted some brunch. Actually I was at my mom’s for an infusion treatment that I had to go to later in the day, so all she really had to eat was eggs. I made an egg white omelet with tons of veggies. It had mushrooms, tomatoes, onions, and peppers. Yummmy. Oh and obviously cheese because truth be told cheese is the best food in the entire world (besides candy). The omelet was tasty and very filling, so my stomach survived my 2 and a half hour infusion treatment. Success.

For dinner, I picked up my younger brother and a friend of mine and then we met another one of my friends at this amazing Thai restaurant in Austin called Titayas. Isn’t the name fab? I love making jokes about how I’m going to be getting some titties or how I want tits. They should really just change their name to Tits. Yes, I have the humor of a 13 year old boy. Anyways, after waiting for 30 minutes for a table, we sat down and ordered appetizers. My brother and I split an order of mushrooms. Best choice. They were lightly battered and topped with a sweety and spicy thai sauce. It was a great combination with the simple taste of mushrooms.

For my entree, I decided on yellow curry with tofu. I’m going to be honest here and tell you that I have been craving curry and tofu for weeks now, so I actually already knew what I was going to order before we even got there. It was a good choice because the curry was more sweet and not as spicy as expecting. I love spicy things, but curry can be way too spicy and make you sweat. My brother for example. He ordered a green curry and holy heck it was so spicy. My eyes watered when I sampled it and he was sweating to death in the restaurant. That was actually funny though. He makes me laugh. My two friends both ordered chicken pad thai without bean sprouts. It was cute because they are actually roommates and I was like no wonder they get along so well, they like the same things. It was a great meal with good company.

Cake balls are the best dessert to have after an amazing day. Really though. These especially. I had a cake ball at Starbucks over break that was peppermint brownie. So good. I decided that I could recreate this (especially with my new pan) and not have to shell out a ridic amount of money for one stupid cake ball. Another point for Lindsay. They turned out so good. I made a batch of brownies and let them undercook a little, so they were super gooey. I rolled them into balls and stuck lollipop sticks into them then placed them in the freezer for a little while. I then rolled them in melted white chocolate bark and then quickly sprinkled them with crushed peppermints. These were a big success. Everyone loves them. I’m going to have to start creating crazy cake balls.

I’m going to end the day with a laugh. I saw this shirt at Walmart in Missouri while I was there for my grandpa’s funeral service. In such a dark time, this shirt brought some joy to my life, so hopefully it will make ya’ll laugh. Surprise. I bought one. It is green with a huge cat’s face on it. I wear it around my apartment. It is pretty epic, not gonna lie.

Hope everyone has a great day!

What is your opinion about these crazy animal shirts, like the famous wolf one?
What is your favorite thai dish?

Eat Your Eggs

Hey ya’ll! Hope everyone had a good Friday night. I tried to go to bed early, but no someone wanted to ruin my good night of sleep by throwing a loud party next door, screaming bloody murder about things I could not even understand, and talking loud on the phone or computer (not really sure which one). Enough with complaining because that won’t do anything for the situation. It has been a productive morning though. I have gotten through most of my ten page anatomy and physiology review, so I’m in a good mood again. Plus UT women’s volleyball won last night in an extremely close match against Kentucky in their home stadium. Oh yeaaah. Tonight we play UCLA and I’m super nervous already because they sweeped Penn State (an enemy of UT).

Today I’m bring something new to my blog. I’m going to start focusing on more food, health, and nutrition related stuff because when I started this blog that was pretty much the purpose, but my funniness and goofiness sort of took over. Each week, usually on Fridays, but because I got that award I’m doing it on Saturday this week, I will do a post totally focused on some important nutrition fact. Today I’m focusing on breakfast. My favorite time of the day. Ya’ll know why. OATMEAL, but there is more to breakfast than just oats.

In my mind, breakfast is probably the most important meal of the day. Due to the gap between our last meal from the night before and the next morning, our brain and muscles need a source of energy to function. Without a real meal, you will still be able to get through the day, but having a hearty meal allows you to concentrate better, be more productive, and feel less lethargic. Besides providing general body function, eating breakfast has shown to actually help you lose weight instead of gain. Most people assume the opposite, but by not eating breakfast people tend to eat more later on in the day not realizing that calories add up quickly. Metabolism is key in this because by eating breakfast it allows your body to keep your metabolism running instead of slowing it down, which is key in weight loss.

“I don’t like breakfast foods”, “I don’t have time to eat breakfast”, or “I don’t get full from breakfast” are some of the common things we hear when it comes to morning meal discussion, but don’t worry I have some healthy choices for you to eat.

Blackberry Cheesecake Oats (Gluten Free)
1/3 c. Gluten Free Oats
1 1/3 c. water
1/2 c. low fat cottage cheese
3/4 c. blackberries
1 packet of truvia
1 tsp of vanilla extract
2 tbsp of PB2

1. Make the oats either the day of or the night before by microwaving oats and water for 2:55, letting sit in microwave for 5 minutes, then placing in the fridge.
2. Place cottage cheese, truvia, and vanilla extract in oats and mix well.
3. Microwave half of the blackberries for about one minute or until warm and there is blackberry juice present.
4. Pour microwaved blackberries in oatmeal and mix well.
5. Top with remaining blackberries and 2 tbsp of PB2

Of course I’m going to say oatmeal is a good option for breakfast, but it is not just because I love it. Oatmeal is a good source of fiber, protein, and it is low fat. Due to its fiber and protein content, it allows you to stay full longer than a sugary cereal or granola bar would. Besides having just a good nutrient composition, oatmeal can also be considered a functional food because oats have shown to lower cholesterol, blood pressure, blood triglycerides, increases insulin sensitivity, and lowers the risk of coronary heart disease. Sign me up please. Besides the oats, adding fruit increases the fiber content even more and blackberries are also a functional food. The cottage cheese is a source of dairy, and the peanut butter is a healthy fat. Now that is a meal that packs a healthy punch, will keep you full for hours, is easy to make if you are in a hurry, and you can create a bowl of oatmeal to your liking.

Finally I make a perfect omelet and the picture comes out blurry. Just my luck. Anyways, eggs are always a good option for breakfast. Personally I use egg whites instead of whole eggs because the yolk in eggs contains high cholesterol and fat, and when you switch to egg whites you are still getting a ton of nutritional benefits. Most of an egg’s protein is actually from the egg white or albumin, so by consuming egg whites only you are not missing out on benefits. The protein will help keep you full until your mid day snack or next meal. Egg whites are low in calories, so you can increase your nutrient intake and add more food items to bulk it up with flavor and calories. I usually fill my omelet with a minimum of two vegetables (but usually more) and another source of protein. In this omelet, I have mushrooms, onions, green peppers, slices of ham, and low fat shredded cheese. The vegetables provide fiber, the ham increases the protein amount, and the cheese is a good source of healthy dairy. This is pretty easy to cook, the eggs coagulate pretty quickly, and yet again you can customize an omelet to your liking. I choose to make this breakfast before I go to the gym and head to class after I work out, and it tends to keep me full until after my class. Pretty successful, don’t you think?

While I’m not an advocate of quick breakfasts, sometimes you are in a real rush and you don’t have time to whip up an omelet or a bowl of oats, so frozen products can be a healthy alternative depending on what you are choosing. Obviously you shouldn’t be eating toaster pastries, but by choosing products that have flaxseed and more nutritional ingredients you are saving yourself from the harms of high fat foods. These are Vans Gluten Free Blueberry Waffles with sliced strawberries and sugar free syrup on top of them. In order to make a quick product more filling, add things such as fruit to increase the amount of filling fiber in a meal. Another alternative you can do with waffles is make a sandwich with an egg, a couple slices of meat, veggies, and cheese. This way you are eating a more filling meal that will help you get through the long hours in a day.

Some of my random breakfast advice:
1. Drink a glass of water while preparing your breakfast, and then another while you eat. This will help you make sure you get all of your daily water intake.
2. Do not eat bars for a meal. They will not fill you up, they do not provide an adequate amount of nutrients, and you will end up consuming more. If you do this at least make sure you pair it with some fruit and other small items like a greek yogurt.
3. Just don’t skip breakfast!

Hope everyone has a lovely Saturday! I will hopefully be attending the UT mens basketball game, but if not I’m going home to my mom’s for a couple of days to do some last minute things before Israel and to get some peaceful sleep before my two biggest finals.

What is your favorite thing to eat for breakfast?
What is your best advice to others in regards to breakfast?

Top Ten Tuesday

Hey ya’ll. Hope you are having an awesome Tuesday. Lets celebrate because the week is almost over. At least for me. HA HA HA. I love that I do not have classes on Fridays. BEST. MOVE. EVER. Anyways while I was laying in bed today watching episodes of Mad Men (I know I get A’s, but I really just sit around watching tv on my computer all day – just kidding mom), and I came up with the greatest idea ever for my tuesday posts. Top Ten Lists. Lindsay, have you gone crazy? Well no because I already am, but top ten lists are epic. Seriously. Get with the program. Top ten lists were huge with my Jewish youth group, BBYO. During regional meetings or chapter meetings, you could make top ten lists about ANYTHING you wanted to be read in between segments of the meeting. Some got hilarious: Top ten reasons why we love Sheriff Horny Muffin (long story – don’t ask) or they would be serious (those people were totally lame though, didn’t know how to have a good time) or they would be just plain boring like top ten chick flicks (ummm hello we are already sitting through a boring meeting please bring some ounce of entertainment to our lives). Hit it, don’t quit it (or don’t leave my webpage, even if you think I’m a nut):

Top Ten Things You Need to Know In Order to Survive Life:

10. How to not burn the house down. Never let water splash into the pan because it will make the oil hop into the flame. Explosion. True life experience: almost burnt my house in Boston down while making dumplings. Damn those dumplings for being so good, but maybe not worth the huge flame that appeared and touched the ceiling. Now I am the master of the pan or at least I decided to live in a place with electric stove top rather than gas. I think it was a safer choice for the entire world. Anyways now I can safely make breakfasts like this:

Omelet with mushrooms, onions, and ham. Breakfast of Champions. I'm a bad Jew, now I'll probably be looked down upon. Oh well totally worth it.

9. Make sure you look at the name you are texting before you actually send the text. You really don’t want to pull a Lindsay and text the guy your dating about how much you hate one of his friends that is a girl. I mean really, saying that you can’t wait to share a bed with him, that is so tacky, especially because you had a boyfriend. BUT still read your texts because you really do not want to spend an entire two weeks trying to apologize for something that you aren’t actually sorry for. Tough life. I know.

8. Actually look at food before sticking it in your mouth. This will save you tons of medical bills and free you from intestinal pain. One night I came home to my mom’s place, and was STARVING. I could not find anything in the house until I found some bread in a plastic bag in the fridge. Hmmm sort of weird that there are only two slices in a bag in the fridge? Whatever I’m hungry. I made a sandwich. Later that night. WHERE IS MY SCIENCE FAIR PROJECT? wtf. Oh awesome I just ate your project for mold growth. Epic life fail. Life lesson: use your eyeballs.

7. Use your assets. Sorry boys, not that any read the blog, but using what god gave you is the best advantage to being a girl. For instance, make friends with the fish monger. In the end, a few minutes of meaningless flirtation, will get you amazing deals on fish. I’m a cheap Jew, we know that, so I don’t like dropping cash for fresh fish. Thankfully, I used my brain, and decided to get my flirt on at whole foods leading to this beauty and then some for a cheaper price than listed:

Salmon with a mango-coconut spread. So delicious. Just what the doctor ordered.

6. Always wear underwear to the gym or leave yourself a note to remember to bring some. I mean who really wears underwear with spandex shorts? Umm no one I know. Or maybe I’m just creepy and weird. Probably that one. The other day I was in a total rush in the morning, so guess what I forgot? My underwear. I had to go commando all day – wow, yes I just scarred you for life with my disgusting life stories – but hey I’m trying to teach you a life lesson. Some people try to pull this off as sexy? Umm no. Especially with your wearing a dress. That was not a good day. At all.

5. Watch where you are driving. More like pay attention to everything. You would think this is an obvious one, but no obviously I’m usually focused on more important things while driving. Yeah, like about how quick I can get to 6th street so I can get drunk. Not one of my better moments. I ran into my mom’s garage door. Knocking it completely off. To make it even better, my mom was out of town. I called her bf, so he came over to help me and my friend put it back up. Then I thought it was a good idea to ask him if he thought it was a good idea to go out. Yeah definitely didn’t have my brain on that night.

4. Worship your microwave. No seriously. I would be lost without it. Cue in Robin Thicke. Yes I am going to serenade my microwave because I love him so much. Yes he is a him, and he is one of the few guys that is there for me. Can you believe that some people do not know how to use a microwave? Really. How embarrassing. I think those people took too many hits on the bong. Without him, I wouldn’t be able to eat these in the morning when I’m in a rush:

Pumpkin Pie oats with banana slices, PB, GF chocolate chips, and crumbled pumpkin bar. Yeah I eat pumpkin pie oats a lot. Get over it. I don't care.

3. Learn how to manipulate paint or photoshop. Seriously this will come in so much handy. Say you need to skip lab, so you can go to New York City with the guy your dating for Valentines Day weekend? Well think of a pretty creative excuse, then get on the computer. Apparently it was my cousin Craig’s Bar Mitzvah. It was such a lovely ceremony spent on 5th avenue shopping my heart out and attending broadway shows. Weekend well spent all because of Microsoft paint which you can get on Macs:

Look at me now. I'm gettin sneaky.

2. Never mix alcohol with medication. You probably won’t do this if you are smart and actually read the labels, but you never know. Some people – cough,cough- just take pills (even sometimes with alcohol) and consume some booze later in the evening. Life lesson learned. Don’t drink a bunch of alcohol while taking dayquil. Will lead to insane pictures and stealing chocolate milk from a convenience store, but then after having a sip deciding to put it back on the shelf. Yeah, these are things I just don’t recommend doing.

Apparently licking yourself while dancing is the new thing to do.

 And the Number 1 thing you need to know in order to survive life is…………

1. Wear a condom. #duh. It is shocking how many people don’t know about STDs and getting pregnant. Really now? Use google. Great invention. Trust me, you want to use a condom because otherwise you may give birth and not even remember it. Meet my son:

I sort of wish he was actually mine. I would definitely be one proud white momma.

Hope everyone had a great day! So excited for WIAW tmmrw! Oh wait AND MY BIRTHDAY!!!! On top of that I GOT PICKED TO GO TO ISRAEL. Seriously my life is just falling in place. It is about time.

What is your advice for surviving life?
Have you ever made top ten lists?

Celebrating the New Year

L’shana Tova to all the fellas and ladies out there. For all my goyim (non-Jews) out there, which is probably everyone, L’shana tova is what you say to all your homies from the Jew hood on Rosh Hashana. The Jew Year. Ya’ll probably don’t know, but the New Year lasts for about three days. We Jews like to party hard in the shul. My bubbe is probably cursing my name since I was such a bad PJW (potential Jewish wife) and did not make it to any holiday festivities. Hey, at least I noshed on some apples and honey, that has to count for something? All the old yentas at my bubbe’s dinner were all probably like oh that Lindsay, she has chutzpah for not coming tonight because she will be on the shit list for sure (Yes, my bubbe puts her grandchildren on what she calls her shit list, and Yeah I’ve been on it a multitude of occasions – However, not as much as one of my cousins has, he never learns). So, I thought I would get my tuches into gear and celebrate the New Year in the only style I know how (no, not by taping two bottles of Andre champagne to my hands and not removing them until they are empty), but my sharing my bucket list! What can I say? Lists are my crack.

The Ultimate, extreme, and really ridiculous Bucket List of one Ms. Lindsay:

1. Run the Boston Marathon in Pink Tutu and Pink sports bra. (For this to happen, two things need to be done: I need to learn how to run and I need to get my body in shape, so when I run by my potential NJH (nice Jewish Husband – don’t worry he is smart and sexy), he will be like damn, run to Tiffany’s, and then chase me down) – Don’t you love that I have all this already worked out in my head. It’s so going to happen.

Mmmm breakfast. Blueberry Gluten Free Pancakes. I have finally mastered the technique to making pancakes! Blueberries are messy though when you cook them. Afterwards I had blueberry stains everywhere on me.

2. Go topless at a topless beach in Spain and run from a bull in the Run of the Bulls (but not topless). Yeah, I just said it. Now everyone is probably scarred for life, but eh sometimes you gotta hit em where it hurts. I know I’m crazy, but you only live once and if I were to die tomorrow, at least I would know that I had a pretty epic life.

3. Road trip the 50 states, sampling the best food places in each state. Did I just rob the Food Network? I think I did. I mean if Guy Fieri wants to drive a nice shayna punim all over the US while being a fatty, I am so down. In my opinion I would make good television. Although look at Mary Beth, from NFNS, blogging experience combined with a tv show didn’t really turn out that well….

4. Pull off the ultimate prank. Okay, that is too complicated for me, but has anyone ever seen Mighty Ducks 2? Probably not, sequels usually tend to suck, but this is such a classic. My best friend and I wanted to steal their idea of the ants in the tube, and instead use…LADYBUGS. You know you are jealous you didn’t think of that? You learn the greatest things online, but you can buy thousands and thousands of ladybugs for really cheap online. One day we are going to do it.

It's out. I love to prank people. Freshman year during the rough winter, my best friend and I would prank the boys all the time. This night we toilet papered the entire boys wing. It looked like a white mass when we were finished. (yeah that's a guy helping too - def not gender loyal)

5. Make a PSA that is worldwide about arthritis and juvenile arthritis. Hell yeah. Arthritis is some serious shiz. It always gets brushed off as oh you can take over the counter stuff like aleve. Um no. Get educated and stop complaining to me about your boyfriend because I’m crippled for life. Wow, I may have just taken that a little too far.

6. Go to the best dance club in Atlanta where all the dankest dancers are, then (probably being the only white girl) bust a move. I think I can hang. I’m a pretty legit dancer or maybe my boyfriend just told me that because I was the token white girlfriend. Damn him. Now I will never know until that night when I go to the club and either everyone bursts out laughing or they are like this girl can move.

Side note: Yes, the randomness factor is kicking in. I can’t help it. I HAVE TO tell this story. One day I was going to Mike’s Pastry in Boston with a friend (MUST GO – being fat never tasted so good) and we were at the Red line subway station switching trains. A group of black girls walked by me, eyed me up and down for like 5 minutes, and then one of them turned to her friend and was like “Daaaaaamn, that is the freshest white girl I have ever seen”. I was on cloud nine. Probably BEST moment of my life.

Vermicelli bowl with shrimp. Mmmm discovering that I could eat rice noodles on a GF diet was the best discovery yet. This is from the greatest Vietnamese place in Austin: Tam's deli

7. Be on a tv show. Hell. Someone should give me my own freaking TV show. Maybe I should call up MTV or something? Now that this current season of Teen Mom is over, I think there may be an opening. I mean after the whole disaster of Farrah being a mother, MTV needs a new role model for the youth of America. Although they might not let me on air, since all I do is sit around and eat fruit in my underwear or use my arthritis as an excuse not to take out the trash, so I still have some loose ends I need to tie up with that one.

8. Write my own book. Still working on titles. Here are some good options that I have: How to survive a Jewish Grandmother, The year I lived in a Crazy House (no, not a mental house, an old piece of junk in Boston with 7 other people – yes, I could write a novel the size of Harry Potter about what I experienced there), What it’s like being the “blacker” One in an Interracial Couple, The Truth Behind What Jews Really Do In Shul…this list could go on and on, I’m definitely going to be the next JK Rowling or Shakespeare. Especially when my skills combine with my awful grammar. Success.

9. Be on David Tutera’s My Fair Wedding. Kind of #7, but not really. I want to have the dopest wedding, but I don’t want to pay the fees. Seeing as I have already planned out my wedding, David will just have to go along with what I say. I just out-Jewed so many Jews. I bet they never thought of this ultimate deal. Only problem is, I’m single, have no potential husbands, and you sort of have to have a tacky wedding to qualify and my wedding is awesome: PEACOCK theme. Yeah, I know your begging for an invitation.

Yeah, it looks like poop on a plate. And I ate it. It's meatless meat, onions, and mushrooms mixed together. Then placed on top of spaghetti squash and tomato sauce. It looks like poo, but it's a do. Did I mention that I rap?

10. Invent time travel or at least learn to apparate in my spare time. Really Harry? You won’t share your wand with me. That’s rude. I guess I’ll just have to go to Ollivanders, and then its on like Donkey Kong. Since for the first time in my life, I just realized HP isn’t real. Having a mini heart attack currently. I guess I’ll have to settle for inventing time travel. Def is going to come in handy for all the embarrassing things I do, mostly while intoxicated, but still I need to erase them. Sort of like the time in Spanish 1 when I was completely out of it and when the teacher called on me I said that I’m embarazada. Yeah, I received a bunch of congratulations and someone even asked if they could touch my stomach. Do I really look pregnant? Geee thanks, way to make a girl feel great about herself.

Hope ya’ll have an awesome weekend! I’m going to start on my grad research paper about Green Tea (yes, I am an undergrad, thanks for asking and then not telling me I signed up for a graduate level course). To start, I’m going to go have a cup of green tea. I definitely think that will provide at least one entire page of valid scientific research. A+ material right there.

 What is something that is on your bucket list?
Any crazy/weird things on it?

Going stag (WIAW 1)

I just figured ya’ll were probably all depressed inside because I didn’t post yesterday. More like ya’ll were probably like yes the bat sh!t crazy chick has left the blogosphere. I have just been studying like a mad person. It has totally paid off though. I rocked my Food Science exam, and I have my Anatomy Lab practical later and I feel good about it. Today is a right of passage. No longer will I be a young girl, but I will become a woman. I am about to enter the greatest of day of the week. What I ate Wednesday! I have been stalking blogs for month on the lovely Jenn’s blog. It’s like food-gasm central. Who needs porn when you have WIAW. Not only am I going to join the party, but I’m also going to tell you the hilarious, ridiculous reasons why I’m single. Get it gurrrl.

Reason’s why the fabulous, yet neurotic Lindsay is single (this is more of just a joke, so please don’t be offended):

1. I don’t “rage” or “frat-hard”. Who says frat-hard? All I know is that it’s not me. Frats were fun when you were a senior in high school or even a freshman in college, but I feel more like a pedophile these days. The last time I was at a frat party I was 20 (that is young), but damn everyone there looked about 16, besides the people I went with. Frats at age 20 and above are only good for onething: free booze before you go out to bars, esp if your a cheap Jew like me.

Pumpkin Pie oats for breakfast. So delicious. Only thing I did different was microwave a banana in with the oats before adding all the goods. Best brain food ever. I can attribute my good exam scores to this bowl of wonderfulness.

  2. I always tend to pick the wrong guy. Drives a motorcycle, but doesn’t have a drivers license. Doesn’t that sound like a real winner to you? Or lives at home with mom and jobless? Oh yeah, definitely a keeper. I feel like the more messed up the situation, the more I like the guy. I think I was dropped on my head as a kid…

3. I have the habit of talking someone’s ear off. Not only is it uninteresting things, but my conversations also always verge on the edge of creepily personal information. Poor kid on my floor freshman year. I used to go in his room and torture him for an hour or so about my life story. I think maybe one day I should learn how to respect people’s limits. Prob not. Although he must be used to it because apparently we were good friends.

4. Dub-step. Enough said. No really though, I just don’t see the appeal. I don’t like it, and most people my age do. Apparently you can’t be date-able if you don’t like dub-step. What is the point of listening to a type of music that is only good when you are on ecstasy and wearing..lets just say..interesting outfits? My generation confuses me.

Home made chicken spring rolls. Recipe will be up later on this week. Haven't decided if I should do a video tutorial or just write out the recipe.

5. I post unflattering photos of myself. Does this bother me? No, but guys minds are on a few things: BBB. Boobs, Butt, and if you have a butter face or not. I forgot to mention this in my post the other day, but I just realized my gravatar image is me when I am running a 103 fever and have a crazy rash. Am I going to change it? No. It’s me in my natural state. Well more like me vs nature.

 6. I wear something besides Nike running shorts and ratty t-shirts. Is this style trending? It sure has in Texas. Just another thing I don’t get. Are these girls working out in class? I’m not really sure. Maybe they just don’t want to put normal underwear on, so they are lazy and wear Nike shorts. I should do that, but I’m even lazier and go commando instead.

7. Besides creepy personal facts, all I talk about is food. I mean I am Jewish. It is the only other thing we know besides money. You think I’m exaggerating. No, I’m not. Come to any family event or meal, and all we talk about is how good the shpread was at so-in-so’s Bar Mitzvah or how Mitzy Schtilberstein burnt the challah. Food is word vomit for Jews. Guys should get over it. At least I make good food.

Pizzaaaa. I have finally discovered the greatness of Udis GF products. Udis pizza crust, seasoned tomato sauce, CHEESE, and sauteed mushrooms n onions. I wish I could make this reappear. I want it.

 8. I am quite the judge of character. I mean every guy I meet could be PBM (potential boyfriend material), and he probably needs to be screened. As a Jew, we look for certain qualities: Money (no, I’m just kidding). Really for a hopeful Jewish grandmother, all she can ask if that her granddaughter marry a nice Jewish boy (see the whole handsome part missing – these days the yentas of the family just pray that they can dump their granddaughter on some poor Jewish guy).

9. Similar to reason 8. I’m a Jewish woman. To the male eye, esp the Jewish guys, we are covered in red flags that scream Get away now, while you still have your balls. Not all of us are like this, but it makes it really hard to nab a guy when all he thinks about is you emasculating him in the relationship.

10. Meet my real boyfriend: the Tervis Tumbler, with a lid. Nothing sexier. Guys are jealous because Mr. Tervis gets to go everywhere with me, even to bed. Not only that, but he goes to first base with me every day. I really don’t know what I would do without him. He doesn’t sweat or leak. Def two qualities needed in my busy life.

Secret lovers. Doesn't he just look beautiful glistening in the light. Be jealous ladies, he is all mine.

  Okay, okay, okay. I am crazy, but apparently guys seem to like me. It probably has something to do with the whole fact that I’m not the type of girl that is up your butt all the time, I like basketball, and I’m pretty easy going. I’m actually single because I am always such a busy bee/hey, I have arthritis, so pretty much I’m crippled, wanna date me (not the best subject to talk about on the first date) . Guys are so needy, gosh. I hope ya’ll enjoyed my post.

Are you single?
What do you think is your best quality?

Things I realize..

Hey ya’ll! Hope you have been having a good as Monday as you can. I mean really who says have a good Monday because they suck. Especially when you have an exam. Big news: I wrote my first guest post! Yeah, someone actually let me write on their blog. I’m surprised to. Check it out at Kaila’s. It’s semi-serious. It’s about my arthritis, but the cliff notes version. I wouldn’t do that to ya’ll. I’ll be giving you all the juicy details later on when I decide to be serious for once.

 Here are some things I have realized lately

I realize that when my brain has been so focused on learning things that I create crazy creations. Pina Colada Oats. Pretty epic. Not gonna lie. The only thing missing would be coconut extract. Being the lucky gluten free person that I am means I can’t have coconut extract. Unfair. I’m used to it. Recipe later. While I made these I sung and danced to the I like Pina Coladas song. My neighbors got a good show.

Really awful picture. Kind of looks like barf in a bowl. Doesn't express the amazingness of pineapple, coconut, and PB. Photo fail.

 I realize that by cleaning my entire kitchen today I have become a mature and responsible adult. HA. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. I mean I am the same girl that backed into the garage because I was too focused on getting to my friends apartment in order to go to 6th street. Then when my mom’s bf came over to assess the damage, the same girl, ME, asked him if he thought it would be okay to leave the garage door shriveled in a million pieces so I could go out and party. As we can see, I really had my head on that night.

I realize that I have the best lab partner in the world. While I’m sitting there, okay it’s more like sleeping, with my head face planted down in my book, she is taking photos of all the histology slides we have to remember and sends them to me in an email. What did I do to deserve her? The only thing I ever contribute to the group is a bunch of laughs, and they probably only laugh to make me feel better about how I am the odd duck in the group.

I don't know about you, but looking at slides of tissue cells is my idea of a party

I realize that I’m going to be 22 in about 3 weeks. Luckily I decided to take a fifth year (next year), just so I could party more. Obviously by party I mean that I get to examine more slides, cram more information in my brain, and hopefully make all 4.0s. What can I say? I like to get down and nerdy.

I realize that it was actually Monday. Until about 4 pm today I was convinced it was Thursday. Even though I knew my exam was on Monday (don’t worry I went and took it), but I still thought today was Thursday. Obviously, I was extremely disappointed when I realized I had three more days of classes. Brain fart. More like brain dead. I blame it on the Texas heat. Seriously can we get some cooler weather down here. I’m not even asking for much. Low 90s. Maybe. Okay Ill compromise. Mid 90s.

I realize that I’m literally always the only girl sweating by the time I walk all the way from my apartment to class. WTH? Seriously. All these girls in my classes act like its not 105 degrees outside. Their makeup is always perfect and no drops of sweat. AT ALL. I’ve decided they must be robots. I’m just gonna keep telling myself that to make me feel better about being the fashionable sweaty monster that no one wants to sit by in lecture.

My stylish self before the downpour of sweat. Dress, jacket, necklace - F21

I realize that my friends put up with a lot from me. I say weird things, and they still speak to me the next day. Either they must really love me or they are desperate for friends (def not).

If you can't guess which one is me, you need to read my blog more.

Okay, so I realize that I’m just plain weird when it comes to making meals. It is def not the studying. For lunch I had a very interesting combination of a grilled large portabello mushroom, a frozen chicken burger, cheese, and sauteed onions. I mean just look at the picture. Who looks at that and is like damn that looks good?

Weird I know. Don't even bother asking what was going through my head.

I realize that when I walk to class I look intense like I’m out to kill someone or something (Idk apparently that’s what my friend said). I’m really just in my little candyland day dreaming about my life and planning what I have to do for the rest of the day. Yes I sort of live in my imaginary world a lot of the time. Let’s not even get into it because someone might send me to a mental hospital to be checked out.

Now I realize that there is this crazy gnat flying around me trying to be my blend. He doesn’t even have a blog. I don’t think he knows what the word blend is. I’m going to go run away from him now, but hope ya’ll have a wonderful rest of the night.

Also, I’ve added a page where you can stalk me. YES! I know ya’ll are excited. Tweets. Formspring. Email. All of the above. I’d love to hear from you. Get at me.

Is there anything ya’ll have realized about yourself in the last few days?
Whats the weirdest food creation you have made?